The Stairs Of Darkness

Your partner makes a snipe at you. You know they are, and you wonder why? How are you going to respond? They're standing in front of the cellar door and inviting, no, daring you to join them there. They're coming from fear. It could be for all sorts of reasons. It might be to do with you directly, it might not. But they're there and daring you to join them. What do you do? How dare they! You retaliate with a snipe back. Or use sarcasm. Perhaps you confront their comment directly and question them, or one of endless other ways, but regardless, ...you choose to join them. That's it!

At that point you've both chosen fear. You've both stood in front of that cellar door. When you both stand there, it's game on and that cellar door flings open and beckons you forth down those dark steps into darkness. Demons are unleashed, they're waiting below and they're goading you to take that first step down into their world.

Another snipe, you take one step down. Another reply and you each take one step down . They're little steps at first... One inch, two inches. Just so easy to take. The snipes turn to insults. Another step down each. It's getting darker. The steps get bigger, four, five, six inches down this time. The adrenalin starts to flow. The insults get worse. More direct now and more cutting. Come on, let’s get even more hurtful. The demons inside start to take over you. The steps get bigger, a foot down at a time now, as you plunge deeper into darkness with each step. The anger starts to mount. The demons are calling. They're winning. It's party time for them. Woohoo!! They're laughing at how easily we turn to fear. How easily it consumes us. So easy. We think we’re so clever, calling up the most hurtful things to say to each other. Another step down. Further into darkness you both descend. Down you go. It's getting darker and darker. This is the real hell... Forget Satan! Hell is from within. We create it ourselves. You're arguing now. There's anger. The steps get bigger. Down you go again...

The worst thing about the steps is you can't see how far down the next one is. You say or do something dark, and step off the step you're on and down to the next one, not knowing how far down in the darkness it is, until you reach it. They might start as small as an inch or two, so they don't really bother you, growing slowly up to maybe a couple of feet. No bother. But at some point there could be one that is more than that, maybe four or five feet. So far down, it's not easy to get back up from. When you step off that one, you're both in real trouble, as it's starting to get really hard to turn it back around and also you just don't know what, or who you might bump into on those stairs.

I remember vividly when I was five years old back in the 60s, I was down the bottom of the garden, (which was a corner garden, so it was quite large, especially for Wolverhampton), a good forty yards from the house, I found a golf ball lying there. I have no idea why, but I picked it up, and without even thinking, just threw it as hard and as high as I could ...unfortunately towards the house. I can still see it now, arcing through the air and of all the thousands of places it could have landed or hit, it flew straight through a massive brand new, six foot long, plate glass window on the new pride and joy veranda. S-mash!! One of my younger brothers told me only in recent years, he remembers that day well,... seeing me being chased up the stairs to my room without me even seemingly touching the ground, our parents so angry he thought he'd never see me again...

That’s Murphy's Law for you. If it can go wrong, it will, and you have no control over it when you allow Mr Murphy to join in. If I tried another dozen times to throw that ball through the same glass window from that distance, or make it smash right through, I wouldn't be able to. When you do or say things without thinking, they can get way out of control very quickly and when you're dancing up and down those stairs of darkness, playing with fear, that's just when you're inviting Mr Murphy to join you.

The stairs also have many perils. Ego is a huge one. Fear of being honest with yourself, that maybe you were wrong or out of line and having the courage to back down and go back up them. Ego is just Fear, and backing down or apologising, is choosing Love over Fear. Honestly, were you really telling the truth, or were you attacking to try and protect a lie, or your deception? Drugs and alcohol are other party animals on those stairs. It's great fun when things are going good, but on those stairs, alcohol and recreational drugs just become a lubricant under your feet and are likely to accelerate the decent.

So, what do you do? First thing is realising when you both choose fear, that Fear + Fear = Darkness. If you both choose fear, then that cellar door will fling open and you're then descending down those stairs of darkness. It's starts off with little steps, but before long, they can mysteriously turn into massive ones.

The best time to talk about this scenario with your partner, is way in advance, so you both know what it means at the time, when you are heading for that cellar door. When things are getting heated, there won't be any time or head space to have a deep, in-depth spiritual discussion about it. If one of you chooses fear and let's be honest, we all do at some time, we learn from it, standing in front of that cellar door daring the other to join them, the other needs to choose Love and not join them in the battle of Fear. Without Fear, there's no opportunity to choose Love over it. It is the choosing of it, that makes the difference and empowers you to drive the demons away. This moment is particularly challenging, because you feel so alone in your love, whilst the other has separated from you. KEEP HOLDING ON NO MATTER WHAT!! This way you are standing in the light at the top of the stairs, beckoning your partner to join you step by tiny step back upwards again.

You can't do the dance down the stairs of darkness on your own (well, you can, but that would be depression, which is another story altogether). If the other chooses Love, and stays with it, it's very hard for you to stay with Fear, unless you have seriously unresolved issues of your own (that's another story too). Fear is easier than Love, but Love is vastly more powerful than Fear. Love is the only way, and we both believe the only reason we are all here is... to choose Love, and be challenged by Fear to choose Love in every moment.

We had a dance on the stairs last week. It was awful. Everything feels so magnified for us. We just can't go there. There have been a few occasions when one of us has stood in front of that cellar door beckoning the other, but not many. We've both been through plenty of dark relationships, which still rear their heads in small ways sometimes, but most of the time the other quickly comes from pure Love, and the door stays firmly shut. We've both done it for each other now to help release old negative belief systems and reprogram new ones. Love always wins and we are back to spiralling upwards again.

Last week we both went down the stairs a few steps, until one of us chose Love and started to turn it around again. It took the other a bit longer to start back up again, creating a dreadful waiting vacuum between us. When you are the only one doing the loving and staying with love, it feels like one of your limbs has been ripped away and you’re left to bleed to death all on your own.

It’s not always easy to go straight up to the top, without falling down a step or two on the way up. When we were nearly at the top, we toppled back down a couple of steps and this time Mr Murphy was waiting... Yuk. Alcohol also got in on the act, which is not a good idea, whilst that cellar door is still open even the slightest.

It always seems so stupid afterwards, waking us both up to the fact that we just can't go there again. EVER! We really CAN'T! It’s just too painful for both of us! We have made a pact to choose Love every time those demons quietly whisper out our names to come and play, but when one of us has a moment of weakness and chooses fear (as we all do at some time), the other stays with Love and keeps choosing Love, no matter how hard it seems to actually do. We just hold a space for the other to finally choose Love also. This takes massive faith that the other will finally return. It also takes enormous patience and strength to wait and sometimes it takes what seems an eternity for love to finally resonate perfectly between us again.

As we change and reprogram our own behaviours by choosing to Love without the other in every moment, we take responsibility for empowering ourselves and our precious relationship at the same time. This is the secret to keeping us both away from descending those stairs of darkness and stepping through that cellar door into pure hell. Sometimes you have to “go there” to know how “not to go there” ever again... For this is the journey we share with you, of our precious love and the many lessons offered to us in being beloved Twin Flames.