Ive Met My Twin But He Wants Nothing to Do With Me

We get asked about this so often, and it is a delicate one to answer. Notice the 'he', that's because it's usually females asking this question, not always, we have had males ask as well, but by far the vast majority are female.

The simple answer is we don't know why, and we certainly don't want to cast any form of simplistic judgement and say whether he is, or isn't.

Our opinions are based on a life time of many relationships each, serious relationships, marriages, short term relationships, flings, infatuations and lustful encounters. We have both lived them all, and looking back it certainly has given us a wealth of real experience to draw from.

In early life we grow up and are all looking for ‘the one’, or our ‘soul mate’, or whatever term we may give them, that partner for us who we will marry and be with for life. We meet someone and are smitten, thinking ‘this is it’, I’ve found him/her and enter into a serious relationship. We constantly are evaluating, ‘would I marry this guy?’, ‘is this the right woman for me?’, as we continue on. Often something happens and it falls apart for whatever reason and we are devastated. The hurt runs deep thinking we had found ‘the one’, and the realisation that actually we hadn’t is hard to handle. We agonise over how we could have got it so wrong.

When we finally meet someone who we consider to be ‘the one’, and it lasts long enough to reach marriage, we all think it will be for life. I have finally found him/her, this is the person I will be with until the day I die. We both did in our first marriages.

Some marriages do last for life. Some maybe do meet their twin flames early on and live blissfully ever after, some maybe are just right for each other, and some just don’t want to go through all the hassle and pain of divorcing, so don’t and soldier on. But the statistics tell us more marriages end in divorce than succeed. When that first marriage eventually disintegrates for the rest of us and we separate and divorce, the reality sinks in that maybe they weren’t ‘the one’. You got it wrong. They WON’T be the one you spend the rest of your life with. How could you get it so wrong?

Even in second marriages, or other serious live together relationships spanning many years, you often wonder all over again is this ‘the one’? We’ve both been married twice before, and we both thought that second time around, and with our prior experiences, looking so much closer and deeper at new potential partners, we thought we would find ‘the one’ and get it right. Yet still didn’t.

We have been through a lifetime of searching for ‘the one’, thinking we have found them, being infatuated, even obsessed at times, only to discover that they weren’t. If we had known about twin flames back then, we would have thought that many had been our twins, when in fact they weren’t.

From all those experiences after our second divorces we both said ‘never again’. I realised I had learnt so much from those relationships, not just from the good aspects, but from the bad things that had happened as well. In fact we learnt so much more from the dark things that we had experienced and lived through. We both had become older and wiser, and looking back, those partners were probably soul mates, helping us experience and learn to make the right choices, even at the cost of the relationships we had with them. There is a good reason why so many cultures look to their elders for wisdom, it’s because it takes many decades to gain it. We might think we know it all when we are 16, 26 or 36, but when we get to 46, we realise we actually didn’t know it all back then.

But then we met and it was like NOTHING we had ever experienced before. We had both already learnt many lessons through those past relationships and had raised the negative energies within sufficiently to know much more about how to love ourselves and how to love each other without sabotaging our relationship. Empathy, compassion and non judgment are all part of the Higher Self whom we were both becoming.

What we experienced shook us to the core, and made us re-evaluate all that had gone before all over again. We BOTH knew we had to be together, and even though the only way we could, required us both giving up our homes and jobs, we did, and both moved to a new city. That’s something about meeting your twin… the desire to be together is overwhelming, and more importantly it was MUTUAL. When you meet your twin it is entirely reciprocated.

When we hear “I’ve met my twin but he can’t leave his wife” or “I’ve met my twin but he wants nothing to do with me” stories, we have to wonder. There are plenty of occasions in our past when we could well have thought the same ourselves, when we now know they definitely weren’t our twin. They might have been serious relationships lasting many years, or short term passionate infatuations, but they weren’t our twin. As much as many people might not want to hear it, when his priority is clearly his wife and family, but he still keeps you hanging on to fool around with when he feels like it, he’s probably not your twin. Your twin would just walk out and be with you. When the other partner says they want nothing to do with you, to keep away and out of their lives, or go so far as threatening you with Restraining Orders, we think they’re giving you a big hint... they certainly don’t think you’re their twin. It’s verging on Stalking. In November 2014 Ryan Gosling had to take out a Restraining Order against a woman who insisted she was his Twin Flame. Travelling from New York to Los Angeles and turning up at his home she was described as “delusional”.

Empathise with his wife and see what hurt you are creating for her. There really is no point in hanging on to these infatuations, or thinking ‘you just have to be unconditional love to them and wait and they will realise it one day and come running to you’. They probably won’t. Take what you learnt from them, and move on, free and available to meet your real twin. Unconditionally loving yourself first, is the key to getting it right, so that ultimately you are ready to meet your twin. They are probably out there somewhere going through a similar journey looking for you too and remember, Twin Flames need only to look within themselves for council, for nobody else can tell you the answers on your precious soul journey. Somewhere deep within where you are old and wise, you already know this…